I want to have your abortion
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ladies don't puke and tell
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
