You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
