Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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