my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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