I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
