you guys were way drunker than both of me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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