Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
