i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
