we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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