The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize