Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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