My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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