Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
