BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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