week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
try to milk me bitch
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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