Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
