we're blogging at a bar
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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