On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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