please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
