R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Do vagina's smell?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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