why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
