I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
