I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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