Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
