Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
