using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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