I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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