Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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