As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
