All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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