Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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