PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I sprained my soul last night
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
