I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
