Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
