Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
