my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
