I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
