what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
