Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Operation Purity has been aborted
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
