My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I would fuck him just for his dog
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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