you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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