You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
