i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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