i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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