i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
