Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
