i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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