So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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