one word: firstdatebathroomanal
too bad you live with your parents still
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
