Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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