I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize