at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
