I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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