The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
