hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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