If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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