Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize