god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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