She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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